Un-Multitasking

Have you ever sat back and carefully weighed the pros and cons of multitasking? I have always been so proud of my multitasking abilities and have worn them as a badge of womanly skill and motherly achievement. Multitasking seems like something I cannot avoid or, at the very least, should not want to avoid. I have at least one part of me busy all the time so why not occupy all the vacant spots if at all possible and check off the to-do list even faster... or maybe it isn’t faster!

Here is how this thought of un-multitasking came to mind...

I have spent the last few months living out of bags in various temporary homes. Feeling homeless has naturally given me a strong desire to do everything in my power to speed the finding of a more permanent home. However, I also have other duties vying for my time such as feeding my family, homeschooling the older three children, being a joyful, loving wife for my husband and mother for the children, and on and on the list could go. Until a couple of weeks ago, I was doing a fabulous job of multitasking and managing to juggling it all, or so I thought.

If my life were a house, I would say that most of it was filled with the multitasking, outwardly successful Shannon who could check off a list in record time and present a dizzying array of finished tasks by the end of the day. Not all the rooms in my house, however, were so delightful. Just as I was feeling great success in home finding, home dreaming, home planning and everything home I also found myself worrying about one of my little ones. I was having difficulty connecting and the result of my unsuccessful attempts were glaringly obvious. The spark had disappeared from the little blue eyes. Obedience still happened but with obvious reserve and little to no joy. Sibling relationships were strained. I caught myself playing this little life in fast forward and was scared by where it seemed to be leading yet I didn’t know how to get it back. Well, that isn’t entirely true. I did have some ideas of how, ones that come highly recommended; I was equipped but I didn’t feel that I could do it.

One particularly overwhelming morning, I knew I was missing something and missing it bad. For all my house success I was still feeling as though my feet had no ground on which to stand, as though I was going it alone. I knew I needed to get alone with God but I wasn’t sure where to start. I recalled Paul’s ability to be content in any situation and decided that was just the place to start since I was obviously discontent with my current housing situation and running myself ragged trying to fix it..

“For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame - who set their mind on earthly things. 

Philippians 3:18-19 

“Let your gentleness be know to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7 

I read through Philippians 3 and 4 and was stuck by the fact that in my desire to satisfy my homemaker desires I had truly set my mind on things of this world. I had allowed earthly things to take precedence over heavenly things. I began to consider what in my life is truly worth my time, what will last and have value in eternity, and decided to focus on setting my best time and attention on those things - namely, my children.

It was only then that I realized my multitasking success was also my greatest enemy! I thought it was no big deal to teach my little man how to read while I texted the real estate agent to pass along some “urgent” information in the purchase of our earthly home. After all, it was truly important and there was a time constraint attached, right? I realized I was not fully giving my attention to either task and, more often than not, the earthly cares and duties which could ring on my phone, beep on my computer, simmer on the stove, spin in the washing machine, and otherwise demand my attention were winning over the quiet little man struggling to learn and longing for my undivided attention.

In light of what I had read and my fresh understanding of the faults of multitasking I decided it was time to stop. We do school in 15 minute increments with a 5-10 minute break in between and that break would have to be my “work” time while I would train myself to set all work aside while I sat with my son. Not only that, but I also decided to do school with him while all the others were playing in the basement. This way, I would be completely focused on him.

That very morning, I set my new plan in motion. It didn’t take but a moment for me to realize the importance of a paper to-do list that I could scritch and scratch all over and update with an old fashioned pen, the electronic lists being on the same screen with my inbox, Facebook and every other enticing thing. So, list started and many things left entirely untouched other than the thought that put them there, I sat down for our time together, just me and him. Oh how hard it was to just sit there! I asked him to write his name on the top of the page and instantly thought of something I could do while he wrote it out. No! That was not the plan, I had to just sit. I watched him carefully, obviously doing nothing but watching and giving my undivided attention to his valiant efforts. His school proceeded oh so slow and more times than I care to confess I had to reign in my multitasking thoughts and set them aside.

Before that day of school was over I noticed he was emerging from his quiet self and excitedly telling me all the answers and everything he was thinking as he made his way thought the challenges I set before him. He wasn’t always correct but his response to errors was entirely different. Previously he would have holed up and despaired at a mistake as I brushed past and told him he was wrong. Now he was joyously declaring how silly that mistake was an fixing it quickly. The blue eyes were dancing, the smile was ready and willing, and my heart was singing with joy! The transformation wasn’t limited to the school table but came and surprised me all day long. I was rolling out tortillas for dinner when he came up and asked with a huge smile what he could do to help me in the kitchen. He proceeded to make the balls of dough until all the tortillas were rolled then asked me if he could flip them which he did a very good job at!

As I said before, I have been equipped with ideas on how to truly touch the heart of my son but I failed to use them in my overly busy, unfocused world. In sitting with him at school, I am able to present him with tasks that he sees are truly valuable (things that his older siblings do and that will give him skills he dearly longs to have) and also praise his success - success that he knows he has achieved. I am respecting him as a valuable asset to the home and as a growing young man and he LOVES it! It was truly evident in his desire to work with me in the kitchen. He did the task I gave him and then picked a challenge (flipping the tortillas in hot pan that had the ability to burn him) and begged for the honor of yet again achieving success at something valuable.

So, this is how my journey to un-multitasking began. It is still a work in progress but one that I hope I never abandon! It has been a couple of weeks since the day I wrote about and already I have failed time and time again at giving my undivided attention when it is needed; however, I have also delighted in the successful moments when I capture the heart of my children and make their eyes sparkle. As for those earthy cares, believe it or not, they got done better and more efficiently in much less time!