Smile, Smile, Smile and Smile Some More!

It is so amazing how fast little ones grow up! Our youngest, as you already may know, has been diligently testing the ropes too see just how far he can happily swing on our good graces before correction comes his way. It has been tiring and, I must add, a bit discouraging to me. I feel as though I am on call 24/7 just to keep up with him and his clever ways!

The other night I spent an hour from 12:00 AM until 1:00 AM working with him. Believe it or not, he decided that was a fantastic time to go bungee jumping on the delirious, frayed string of my resolve. He was well tended, fed, diapered, cuddled, burped and extremely tired yet he very diligently refused to lay down. It was as if I could see the battle raging. He would look longingly at the pillow and bow his head slightly that direction and then pop it back up and commence with the “I don’t like what you are doing, Mommy” cry that was supposed make me give up and do his bidding. This went on painstakingly slow for an hour with me repeating the command followed by some incentive to obey if he refused then leaving him to himself for a time to think it over. I think he nearly fell asleep the last time he thought it over. Whether or not, he was more than happy to lay down at my next command and the rest of the night went on wonderfully.

That was the first time he chose to do that in the middle of the night and it spoke a word of caution to me as his mommy: I needed to invest more time in training or I would be facing similar situations in increasing numbers. The days prior to this particular evening had been riddled with small disobediences that could so easily go unnoticed. They, however, became glaringly obvious as I was sitting there rubbing sleep out of my eyes in the middle of the night. It wasn’t any particular little offense but a general un-trained-ness. This un-trained-ness was now infiltrating my sleep and that will certainly get my attention! I have never been one to do very well without sleep!

So, the next morning I awoke and set to my task. I would set a blanket on the floor and tell him to sit on it and not get off all the while staying at his side, smiling and encouraging the good and discouraging the bad. I thought I was making great progress! I had relayed the nights happenings to Nate and he was more than happy to contribute to our training endeavors. I watched him smiling at Arden, working with him and rejoicing in his successes throughout the next couple of days.

Well, our little man didn’t just have one midnight trick up his sleeve, he had recently learned to cough on command and discovered that coughing sometimes led to gagging. This seemed to be genuine at first as he was congested and it was easy to believe he was truly gagging. However, the congestion was passing and he was still gagging. I decided to challenge the gag and much to my surprise he instantly quit and smilingly ate his food! Along with the gagging technique he was developing the skill of either closing his mouth tightly when asked to open and take a bite or opening it wide with his tongue strategically placed in such a way as to entirely prevent the entrance of any utensil much less the food on it. Unlike the gagging on command trick, I was not successful at meeting this training challenge which he would determinedly reintroduce meal and meal after meal... Oh dear, now he was infiltrating my eating! Did I mention that I don’t do very well without food?

Nate, who had been so faithfully working with Arden for some days now, would watch and so kindly offer to sit by him while I ate and scurried to seconds before they were gone. He would sit and give Arden a command which would be immediately obeyed! How had he won obedience? I thought I was doing a great job and to the best of my knowledge he was doing the same thing yet there was a pointed difference in Arden’s response to him! It went so far that following meals I would struggle for the coveted eye contact (see previous post about Those Blue Eyes) only to realize Arden was smiling great smiles all the way across the table to where Nate was sitting and would do his bidding instantly! I, who was sitting next to him, could not get him to open his mouth or look me in the eye but his Daddy who was two seats away won every time! What was the difference?

I, in some degree of desperation, asked Nate for the secret to his success. He is so kind to share such things with me! Perhaps it is because a happy wife makes for a happy home and he is delighted at any opportunity to contribute to that phenomenon. (Psalm 128:3 - notice how the wife is at the heart of the home!) He shared with me that he believed much of his success was in his smiles and touches. I had thought I was smiling but after talking with him, I realized that my smile was often lost behind my objectivity or at least tainted by it and, therefore, not as genuine as it should be nor was it as frequent as it could be. In his training times with Arden, he had boisterously celebrated his every success and had continually caught his attention (and his blue eyes!) with a delighted smile that was full of sincere love! My smile, on the other hand, was inadvertently reserved for select moments and I hadn’t thought to share it with my little man absolutely every time he looked my way. This cute-as-a-button little guy simply wanted to know that he is delighted in and Daddy was passing that message along every time he looked his way so he loved to look at Daddy even if it was for training and meant that he was going to have to bow his will to another.

With a new fervor, I began that very day to smile, smile, smile and smile some more. It didn’t take very long for me to notice the difference. Not only was my little guy looking at me with a bit of surprise and delight in my smile but he was also obeying so much better! Smiling didn’t obliterate the need for training sessions but it has drastically shortened their time as it has passed a much needed love message to the trainee! In addition to all those perks, the love I have for him has seemed to just bubble out in a whole new way that creates a delightful cycle of smiles which he (and the rest of the family) loves!