Cloth diapering - Wet Diapers Stink... Dry Diapers Don't

Has this happened to you? You are busy, busy, busy trying to get out the door to do grocery shopping. You grab your little wriggling bundle to put on a fresh diaper, a coat, and, if it is a good day, a pair of shoes just to keep the tootsies warm. You get ready to put the fresh diaper on and realize it is such a good thing you are headed to the grocery store... that is the last little diaper in the pile! Wait! You check the diaper bag full of hopes that the slightly dusty one you saw all wadded up in the bottom is still there as your back-up. Nope, now you remember using it in Target when the old one threatened to spring a leak. No more diapers! Now this little 33 cent diaper is worth so much more! Surely this sweet little bundle wouldn’t dare... Oh no! I happened! How could they have had such small regard for this priceless commodity we call a diaper?! Didn’t they know it was the last one? The blow-out refuses to be ignored as it now threatens the cute little pants. In frantic resignation you fumble through the large plastic tote that somehow managed to be on the bottom of the tottering pile and pull out a diaper from big brother. Of course it is two sizes too big but what is there to do?

These are the not-so-funny yet hilarious moments of motherhood. In addition to a few moments like the one above (thank heaven for the big brothers who left diapers behind!) I always found myself trying to validate my desire to get more out of each diaper. Some days I had a distinct awareness of throwing money in the trash can with every diaper that got “needlessly” soiled - that is it wasn’t on the tush for more than 10 minutes. I guess a part of this mentality could be my money-mindedness. Nate has often told me I remind him of scrooge. I collect the coins I get in change and more than once he has found me smilingly making neat little piles on the kitchen table as I assess my “wealth”. I digress... back to the topic at hand! This has been one of my motivations for experimenting in the cloth diaper world although I wouldn’t say it is the only one.

In addition to a dislike of spending so much on something entirely disposable, I have a true old-school streak in me that smiles in delight at the thought of successfully making cloth diapers work. Perhaps it is my love of old skills or because I love to read about culture as it was centuries ago. Regardless of the source of motivation, I began my venture in the cloth diapering world with great anticipation and excitement when I was pregnant with Kellan, my fourth. Although I was unsuccessful with cloth diapering Kellan (all 10 pound of his newborn body wouldn’t fit in the newborn diapers I had toiled over for the weeks leading to his birth!), I was blessed with little Arden and turned my previously unsuccessful learning experience into a success - one that I have truly enjoyed!

There is so much to cloth diapering, I will have spread my experiences out over various posts so keep watching. For now, I thought I would chatter about the thing I dislike the most, that cloth diapering monster that has sent me reeling one too many times... the stink!

I read that if your diapers stink there must be something wrong and perhaps they need to be stripped. I realized this to be true with my very first hemp/cotton diapers. I never got the hemp oils out and the smell was near unbearable. However, my sensitive nose simply does not like the smell of day old pee in diapers, in the toilet, on the walls, on the floor, on the outside of the toilet, or anywhere else it may be found in a houseful of boys. Even when my diapers don’t need to be stripped I can still smell the dirty ones.

To appease my offended nose, I decided to try various dirty diaper bags. I bought a nice PUL red one that color coordinated with my room. It worked okay until wash time when the smell worsened exponentially as I dug or dumped the diapers into the wash. I figured perhaps they needed to breathe and went in search of an old woolen skirt to make into my new dirty diaper bag. I was sure this was the ticket as I love using wool diaper covers. The smell at wash time was surly a bit better but now it oozed out of the bag in between times and left the whole room smelling badly. It was about this time that we were living in temporary housing and I had such sympathy for the wonderful ladies who came to vacuum and had to walk by that smelly bag!

Finally, in desperation, I struck on a wonderful thought. Moisture tends to enhance smells so perhaps elimination of the moisture factor would lessen the smell! I set a small plastic laundry basket near where I changed diapers and began to drape the wet ones all around the edges being careful not to overlap them. It worked! By the end of the day, the rim was full of drying soiled diapers (the really dirty ones got a quick hand wash and were hung in the shower to dry). In the morning they were all dry enough to flip in the middle of the basket freeing the rim for the new day’s diapers. The smell was gone! The only times I have had to deal with an adverse smell are the days when we are out and I hang up a bundle of wet diapers all at once. Even then, the smell is gone once the diapers dry a bit! Come wash time I thrown a dry pile of dirty diapers in the washing machine, add a wet towel or a couple purposely soaked diapers (a great way to get a better clean from an HE machine!) and wash away!

I have also noted that this theory helps me to make sure my diapers are getting sufficiently clean in the wash cycle. Just as a dirty diaper stinks less when it is dry, same goes for a clean diaper! If I pull my “clean” wet diapers out of the washing machine and can smell anything even slightly stinky, I know I need to tweak my washing cycle. If I wait until they are dry, they will smell fine regardless of how clean, or dirty, they truly are. Ah, how nice it is to tackle the stinky monster and enjoy that pile of fluffy, white, nice smelling diapers!!!

P.S. Nate says he can’t ever smell the diapers... yeah!

Smile, Smile, Smile and Smile Some More!

It is so amazing how fast little ones grow up! Our youngest, as you already may know, has been diligently testing the ropes too see just how far he can happily swing on our good graces before correction comes his way. It has been tiring and, I must add, a bit discouraging to me. I feel as though I am on call 24/7 just to keep up with him and his clever ways!

The other night I spent an hour from 12:00 AM until 1:00 AM working with him. Believe it or not, he decided that was a fantastic time to go bungee jumping on the delirious, frayed string of my resolve. He was well tended, fed, diapered, cuddled, burped and extremely tired yet he very diligently refused to lay down. It was as if I could see the battle raging. He would look longingly at the pillow and bow his head slightly that direction and then pop it back up and commence with the “I don’t like what you are doing, Mommy” cry that was supposed make me give up and do his bidding. This went on painstakingly slow for an hour with me repeating the command followed by some incentive to obey if he refused then leaving him to himself for a time to think it over. I think he nearly fell asleep the last time he thought it over. Whether or not, he was more than happy to lay down at my next command and the rest of the night went on wonderfully.

That was the first time he chose to do that in the middle of the night and it spoke a word of caution to me as his mommy: I needed to invest more time in training or I would be facing similar situations in increasing numbers. The days prior to this particular evening had been riddled with small disobediences that could so easily go unnoticed. They, however, became glaringly obvious as I was sitting there rubbing sleep out of my eyes in the middle of the night. It wasn’t any particular little offense but a general un-trained-ness. This un-trained-ness was now infiltrating my sleep and that will certainly get my attention! I have never been one to do very well without sleep!

So, the next morning I awoke and set to my task. I would set a blanket on the floor and tell him to sit on it and not get off all the while staying at his side, smiling and encouraging the good and discouraging the bad. I thought I was making great progress! I had relayed the nights happenings to Nate and he was more than happy to contribute to our training endeavors. I watched him smiling at Arden, working with him and rejoicing in his successes throughout the next couple of days.

Well, our little man didn’t just have one midnight trick up his sleeve, he had recently learned to cough on command and discovered that coughing sometimes led to gagging. This seemed to be genuine at first as he was congested and it was easy to believe he was truly gagging. However, the congestion was passing and he was still gagging. I decided to challenge the gag and much to my surprise he instantly quit and smilingly ate his food! Along with the gagging technique he was developing the skill of either closing his mouth tightly when asked to open and take a bite or opening it wide with his tongue strategically placed in such a way as to entirely prevent the entrance of any utensil much less the food on it. Unlike the gagging on command trick, I was not successful at meeting this training challenge which he would determinedly reintroduce meal and meal after meal... Oh dear, now he was infiltrating my eating! Did I mention that I don’t do very well without food?

Nate, who had been so faithfully working with Arden for some days now, would watch and so kindly offer to sit by him while I ate and scurried to seconds before they were gone. He would sit and give Arden a command which would be immediately obeyed! How had he won obedience? I thought I was doing a great job and to the best of my knowledge he was doing the same thing yet there was a pointed difference in Arden’s response to him! It went so far that following meals I would struggle for the coveted eye contact (see previous post about Those Blue Eyes) only to realize Arden was smiling great smiles all the way across the table to where Nate was sitting and would do his bidding instantly! I, who was sitting next to him, could not get him to open his mouth or look me in the eye but his Daddy who was two seats away won every time! What was the difference?

I, in some degree of desperation, asked Nate for the secret to his success. He is so kind to share such things with me! Perhaps it is because a happy wife makes for a happy home and he is delighted at any opportunity to contribute to that phenomenon. (Psalm 128:3 - notice how the wife is at the heart of the home!) He shared with me that he believed much of his success was in his smiles and touches. I had thought I was smiling but after talking with him, I realized that my smile was often lost behind my objectivity or at least tainted by it and, therefore, not as genuine as it should be nor was it as frequent as it could be. In his training times with Arden, he had boisterously celebrated his every success and had continually caught his attention (and his blue eyes!) with a delighted smile that was full of sincere love! My smile, on the other hand, was inadvertently reserved for select moments and I hadn’t thought to share it with my little man absolutely every time he looked my way. This cute-as-a-button little guy simply wanted to know that he is delighted in and Daddy was passing that message along every time he looked his way so he loved to look at Daddy even if it was for training and meant that he was going to have to bow his will to another.

With a new fervor, I began that very day to smile, smile, smile and smile some more. It didn’t take very long for me to notice the difference. Not only was my little guy looking at me with a bit of surprise and delight in my smile but he was also obeying so much better! Smiling didn’t obliterate the need for training sessions but it has drastically shortened their time as it has passed a much needed love message to the trainee! In addition to all those perks, the love I have for him has seemed to just bubble out in a whole new way that creates a delightful cycle of smiles which he (and the rest of the family) loves!

Fabulously Fun Food

I love food! I have realized this especially much recently. I love to eat and I love good food with delicious flavors!

This past week I have managed to make just enough food for dinner. This sad truth means that our lunches have been rather redundant as I rely pretty heavily on left-overs for lunch the following day. Bread and cheese is good but bread and cheese every day is a bit, hmmm, how shall I say it.... dry.

Today was the third or fourth day in a row that followed a Feasting of the Hollow Legs Dinner the night before and bread and cheese once again made it on the menu. To top it all off, my littlest one was running a fever which put me in a mind to have something especially good for the immune system on the menu. Think garlic, onions, veggies, bone broth, and the like.

Lunch time was upon us and I, trying desperately to throw some creativity into the bread and cheese mixture, was perusing the pantry in search of that magic ingredient that would make our lunch gourmet. My gaze passed over the onions, not just one or two onions but a whole pile of them! What was I thinking to buy a dozen onions on Friday? So there those onions were looking back at me and who should come to mind but Julia Child... Julia Child and her French Onion Soup.

I kicked into high gear as the lunch hour was growing late, did a quick search on the internet for the necessary bits of inspiration and set to motion. On goes the pan, in goes a rather large chunk of butter. Yum... it is already smelling delicious! Oh, wait a moment... what is that smell? Oops, the pan it too hot. Pan is turned down and in go a few chopped onions topped with salt and pepper to cook away into deliciousness. Out comes the whole wheat sourdough bread in thick slices. (I seem to recall crusty bread in the bowl of French Onion Soup...) Bowls dance out of the cupboard and welcome the bread while they await the soup. Hmmm... wondering if onions will suffice when feeding five kids under the age of 10? Probably not! Checking the fridge for further inspiration while fully aware that all the “frenchness” and “gourmetness” is dashing for cover as I consider throwing in various “extra” items. Out come the carrots and an old wilted celery heart. Chop, chop, chop and into the pan they go. Bone broth should be the next ingredient but the last of that had already been commandeered by the beans and rice cooking away in the crockpot. Plan B... water. Herbs now audition for a part in the show with dill and basil being chosen. (I know these are probably not supposed to be in French Onion Soup but without time for the truly deep flavors to develop, I had to rely on something!) Children peeking and peering to see what they get to eat. Turn the soup on high, cover and boil... boil fast please! Testing now and yes it is good but oh, don’t burn your tongue! Just a few more minutes as the carrots soften their personality and the brick of cheese transforms itself into a more easily snitched temptation to those eager children now thronging about. Soups is ladled over the bread and heaps of cheese piled on top to melt. Lunch time! 

I am not sure what I would call this lunch as I am truly sure it would make a french chef turn up their nose but the kids sure liked it! It changed our bread and cheese lunch into something fun and tasted great all at the same time!

So when I get on a roll with food inventions I don’t stop easily! As the afternoon wore on I developed a strong desire for trail mix. Since we all seem to be fighting a bug of some sort, I didn’t want to load us up with anything too sweet such as raisins but I also knew I didn’t like salted almonds by themselves! That just didn’t cut it! The almonds are good but the salt falls right off and it simply cannot pass for trail mix! So, once again, I stood at the fridge looking for some magical alternative to reveal itself. I needed something that wasn’t too sweet but that would go well with almonds and hold a nicely dispersed amount of salt to mix with the nuts. Cilantro? No. Celery? No. Tomatoes? No. Carrots? Hmmm... I figured it would be worth a try and having such willing taste testers I figured it would eventually get eaten up so even if it didn’t taste great nothing would be wasted. I threw a bunch of almonds in a bowl and with four sets of eager eyes watching pulled out my secret ingredient, carrots, and set to chopping. I diced them up pretty small and then searched the various food folders in my mind for further ideas on how to make a delicious Carrot Almond Trail Mix. I went with the carrot cake theme and threw in some salt, a good amount of cinnamon, and some nutmeg to taste. Believe it or not, it was a tasty, fresh trail mix and was gone in minutes!

Those Blue Eyes...

First of all, I must say that raising children keeps one on their toes! For the last couple days I have been having some difficulty getting my littlest guy who just turned one to go to sleep in his bed at nap times. It isn’t that he lacks the sleepy ingredient nor is he in any type of pain. No, he just doesn’t want to do it for whatever reason is rolling around in his little head.

In the course of dealing with this new development (number 2,798 in his life) I have been noticing an oddly familiar trick playing in the general vicinity of his eyes. When it is time to lay down and go to sleep his eyes dart from place to place. The cutest little smile plays over his face and he begins a cute little dance to go with it. It wasn’t the smile that caught my attention or the little dance but rather the eyes. At first I blew it off in my hurry; however, on later encounters I decided to test this interesting phenomenon in an effort to find out its roots. I would change him, feed him, smile at him, hug him, kiss him, and sit him on the bed all the while keeping eye contact with his undeniably happy little face. The next step in the nap time process seemed to send the eye contact scurrying for its life. Those five simple words, “It is time for bed,” would mysteriously make his eyes begin to dart from here to there. I would crouch down and try my hardest to get directly in his line of vision while he would successfully divert his eyes over and over! Now this may only be development number 2,798 in his life but for me, having been through this with a few others before him, this ranks in the tens of thousands. I begin rustling through the dusty files from Jeffrey, Anani, Josiah and Kellan. Yep, they all did this! I even recall realizing how important eye contact is as they get older too. Oh my, now we have ourselves a battle line!

This afternoon before nap time I decided to spend some time just training him in the special art of giving eye contact. I wasn’t sure how to do it but do it I must! It ended up with me calling his name and as soon as we locked eyes I began a mini-circus complete with the cheering crowd to which he responded with smiles, delight, and... more eye contact! After only one success at fulfilling my covert request (eye contact) he caught on and happily repeated the act a few times over.

As I was laying him down to nap or rather while I enforced the “laying down to nap”, I began to mull over what just happened and try to see from his point of view. Remember, our initial problem was him not wanting to lay down for a nap. I realized that he is waiting for me to cross his line of resistance yet all the while he is dancing way over the line of my tolerance. How is it that one so small can so easily get the upper hand without my even knowing it? I realized much of his success is because of his TOP SECRET operation DMEC - DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT (Nathan says the names of operations are all capitalized). It seems that from his point of view, as long as he isn’t looking me in the eyes, he doesn’t have to obey. I know deep down inside that this is true. When I don’t have the time to gain that much coveted eye contact neither do I have the time to give a well thought out command, much less follow through on it.

I have also inadvertently facilitated the “TOP SECRET” factor in his operation. His little life has been made up of picking up on cues from day one. It didn’t take him long to figure out what I look like. Neither did it take him very long to figure out who his daddy was or who his siblings were. Little did I know that it didn’t take him very long to figure out which commands were going to mean something in the end. To me, giving him the command to “lay down and go ni-night” is but a tiny blip in my day while to him it may be the major study of the whole month, the biggest thing in his world! He has been perfecting something I wasn’t even taking notice of! He found in diverting his eyes he could successfully shelter himself from feeling pressure to obey and I found that in my hurrying from one thing to the other I was neglecting to realize and deal with his secret operation, DMEC, thereby creating the battle we found ourselves in.

“My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.”

Proverbs 23:26

“For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, And their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, so that I should heal them.”

Matthew 13:15

How interesting that eyes have something to do with hearts! My little one-year-old has figured that out without any help! So, let the work begin; time to train, train, train!